Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Rawk On!

This site rocks...or does it?
Crap Covers
You MUST check out the top ten!! You must!!

Pass it On

Now that you've read my blog, you got one week to live....until you show someone else.

Hah!! Got'em, technically...

Ted Baxter is a Villian

Everybody knows Ted Knight for his indelible role on the "Mary Tyler Moore Show" as Ted Baxter, and as Judge Smails in "Caddyshack" (1980,) but most people don't know that before that, in the 60's...while he was starving as just another actor, he was paying the bills doing voice work for Filmation Studios.

Ted Knight was the JOKER on Filmation's "New Adventures of Batman" (1968)!! He was also the Riddler, Penguin, Commisioner Gordon and the announcer. (..who would always say, "..meanwhile, back in Gotham City!")

Knight did several voices for many Filmation titles such as, "Superfriends", "The Superman/Batman Hour", and was even Aquaman on..."Aquaman".
Knight's real name was Tadeus Wladyslaw Knopka.

Sunday, May 29, 2005

Bazooka Joe

On this memorial day weekend, I'd like to share some obscure info about our fighting arms.
One of the strangest names for any weapon that I'd ever heard, was the name for the Bazooka. Once you hear the word, you instantly know what the device looks like in your head...it's a long single barrel pipe-like device that rides on the soldier's shoulder and is usually fired while kneeling. The term was coined back in WWII by a captain during a demo of the weapon for General Somervell. While showing the device off, the captain stated, "It looks just like a Bob Burns Bazooka!" All the gathered laughed, including Somervell, and the name stuck.
Who is Bob Burns and what was it he had that was called a Bazooka?
Back in the Arkansas hills, in 1905, young Bob Burns was practicing with his small band in the back of Hayman's Plumbing shop. Supposedly they were playing "Over the Waves" and Burns broke a string on his mandolin. With nothing else to do, he picked up a piece of gas pipe about 20 inches long and started blowing into one end. He got a bass note and then proceeded to wrap a piece of sheet music into a tube, and while sliding it in and out, created a trumbone effect. Later he soldered a funnel on one end of a tin tube, complete with a handle, and used that as a trumbone arm.

Burns coined the name Bazooka for the device by referencing the Arkansas regional phrase, "That guy blows his bazoo too much." or "He blows his bazoo a lot." Meaning the guy is full of wind...a wind bag. The bazoo was taken care of....the "ka" part came from other instruments like harmonica or balalaika.
Bob Burns later became well know as the "Arkansas Traveler" on radio, his debut being on Rudy Vallee's Fleischmann Hour (1929-39). After several guest appearances on Valee's show, Burn's joined up with the "Kraft Music Hall" in 1936 and was a featured player and utimately got his own show in 1941 (when we entered WW II) called the Bob Burns Show.
Burns' adopted instrument, the bazooka, was so popular (by even the 30's) that Webster's Collegiate Dictionary in defining the army weapon, also added: "a crude musical instrument made of pipes and a funnel".

Tuesday, May 24, 2005


I got this great t-shirt I bought years ago of one of my musical faves...Esqurita. It's like...hot pink on black and it kicks ass.

Eskew Reeder Jr. was born in Greenville, South Carolina and was a contemerary with Little Richard. Reeder was doing the pomp hair and lipstick thing for a few years before Richard, and even had a gag where he would tear his sleeves off during a show. He got to a point where he had snaps installed in the shoulders as to save on wardrobe. Richard gets a lot of credit for his stage gimmicks, but history will tell that Reeder was there first.
Reeder was doing his bit in Greenville when Gene Vincent's guitar player, Paul Peek, came across him.
Norton Records has the shit, so visit them:


Monday, May 23, 2005

Link Way

Check my new links. Since I've been informed on how to alter the HTML, I'm gonna be listing links "Like a Big Mug" now!
...whatever that means.

Friday, May 20, 2005

Waste It! (time)

My buddy Bob knows I loves me some H. P. Lovecraft and he also knows I loves me some zombie shootin' games. He sent a link that covers both!! Wooohoooo!
Killin' and readin'...just like in school.

Thursday, May 19, 2005

8 Track Mind

This is the coolest image I've seen in a while.

I'm gettin' a stiffy.

Riddle Me This...

One of my idols died recently.
I missed a chance of meeting him by one day. He was a ball of energy and an amazing screen presence.
As a kid, I remember seeing him on Johnny Carson (before Rich Little) and being blown away by his impersonations.
S'long Frank.

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Blog Flog

My buddy Bob read the blog about the other blogs I started and had a take on what those blogs and what the content of the said blogs would be like:

"Digging the blog brother. Here's my take on 'em.

Pimp Castle – You’ve been there, it’s in Oak Cliff.
Loose Fitting Boxers – Aaaaaaaawwwww yeah!
Michael Medved is a Leech – Owes me seven dollars too. Punk.
BBQin' with Lou Reed – Colored girls say: doot d doot pass me a rib.
Getting a Grip on Masturbation – Got it.
Elvis is Not Dead (He Installs Cable) – I ain’t left the building main, I’m going out to tha truck for mah crimpers. Dang.
Popular British Foods (A Summary) – Spotted dick.
Gary Coleman Lives in My Sock Drawer – Humping my gold toes. Whatchoo tom bout?
Genie Pants Full of Rainbows – Can’t touch this.
Hanging On To Loose Skin-Kharma Sutra For the Elderly – Tom bout: Popped a viagra, Granny Clampett ain’t going nowhere, better squeeze me off a wrinkle bitch.

I've got nothing....anymore."

You're tellin' me. PaaHaaaah!

Sunday, May 08, 2005

True Jackass

What the hell has happened to programming on MTV? Is there any music on this channel? It IS called MTV...Music Television. Holy shit..what a load of crap they heap on every hour of every day!
Jackass was their one ray of originality (after Beavis and Butthead and the Tom Green Show) and the only reason I would watch that turd channel.
The nucleus of the Jackass show was gems like, the Big Brother skate videos and Camp Kill Yourself skate videos done in the early 90s. Spike Jonze saw an obvious chance to make a different kind of show and brought these guys together. The low brow suicidal stunts and skate mentality, which go hand in hand anyway, made for a fresh and laid back irreverent nose-thumbing gesture at society. The show was a huge hit and kids were going out and jumping off of houses before you could say "Parental Advisory".
So, after everybody on the show got fat and happy and probably coped some attitude, they went their separate ways again. Knoxville went to the movies...Steve-O and his group went back to eating glass and keeping up his standards of insanity, but Bam Magera and his camera mugging fart knockers kept floggin that dead horse.
HOLY SHIT...what a piece of fecal matter that show Viva La Bam is!! Hey guys, let's annoy my parents and the stupid fat uncle for our TV show. It'll be great. We'll spill stuff on them, and generally upset their lives.
...except the punch isn't there anymore because they all live in some freakin' mini-mansion that Bam bought for them, and apparently the parents quit their jobs cause Bam is footin' the bill on everything...and they can't go out to do any "cool" stunts now because people recognize them and probably want to get in on the stunts as well...I mean...what a waste of time...and dignity!

Bam's mom is walking around with her mouth open aghast at the apparent damage Bam and his grinnig ass kiss/followers have wrought, but the watcher at home is saying, hell..Bam or MTV is just going to buy you another this or that...or MTV is going to get some poor underpaid worker to clean up the mess..no prob. All the while those narcissistic camera hogs laugh about how what a great show this is.

One word of advice guys, you better invest your $$ in something, beside the ridiculous "bling" you wear around your necks...your fifteen minutes of fame were over a couple of years ago.

Holy Blocks!

I don't know if I should laugh or freak out at this...
LEGO my Bible!

Saturday, May 07, 2005

Wray of Hope

Here's one of my idols. I met Bill Wray a while back at his first gallery showing here in Dallas and he's a great guy. His art has everything in it I strive for.


Cool Interview

Get Up Offa' the Meat Loaf of the Gods

Penny, my betrothed, made the most insane Meat Loaf the other day. It was THE BEST meat loaf I've ever eaten. Period. (Sorry Mom, but I's got's to slap ya.) This was perfection bathed in tomato paste. I ate every slice I was given, and even ate the left overs without her. You gotta love a women that can work on cars, motorcycles, put up dry wall, install water heaters and sink disposals...AND can cook a meat loaf that makes Julia Child cry in her grave.
(It's true..Julia Child's skeleton is cryin')

I was taking my 7 year old son, Mitch, to Burger King today. We got in the truck, I cranked it up,and instantly remembered that I had left a funk mix CD in the CD player. A James Brown track was just starting, "Get Up Offa' That Thing", the one with the classic opening...the squeal..y'know...(Yeeaaooooow!)...and the volume was close to max. I jumped, my son jumped, and with a bug eyed expression he stared at the player and said very factually , "That man went crazy!". After a couple of minutes he then said, "Hey..that's from the movie, 'Robots'", and was apparently fine with the crazy man 'cause he had good taste in movies.

When we were getting gas, Mitch flatly told me that he was allergic to bad breath. I wasn't sure if I heard him right.
"Bad Bread?" I asked as I opened the door and stopped.
"No..bad breath. It makes me sneeze."
I wished I sneezed everytime somebody opened their toilet mouth in front of me...I'd spray people from here to Phoenix.

The Burger King kid's meal had a Baseman designed game (Cadoo) with a figure pen. If you like Baseman, you gotta see these things. They're perty cool.
Baseman Spooks Me!

After Burger King, we went looking for a tiny frame for the kick buttocks drawing Paul Allen did for me as a trade for the Bluto sketch.
Check it....

While in line at Michael's, Mitch brought up different types of candy to show me. I guess he was hoping I'd break down from the pressure and tear at my clothes screaming, "Yes...my God I've been wrong all these 7 years....Eat as much candy as possible!! I've been a fool!" Didn't happen.
At the end there, he came up with a breath freshener thing...Crystal Ice...?...or something...which sounds like the new street name for some drug. He was wanting those things as well.

Another breath reference. Maybe he's trying to tell me something?

Thursday, May 05, 2005

You're Real Church People

Have fun with this...but you'll burn in hell!

Church Sign

Seen Hag?

What the hell happened to the Sea Hag from the Popeye cartoons? I've not seen her episodes on any of the DVD compilations or any channels like Cartoon Network or Boomerang.

These were the only cartoons from that 40's-50's period that had any surreal imagination to them. She always toted Alice the Goon around with her..and that vulture..and was always trying to get Popeye's spinach or that little monkey/puppy/baby thing, Jeep.
Some of the freakiest Popeye cartoons, after the Fleischer era of course, were the Sea Hag episodes. She kidnaps Santa and tries to burn his toys in one episode! Brutal! She steals all of Popeye's spinach, in one of the all time classics, and burns it in the boiler of his ship. (Apperantly she was a pyromaniac.) The only way Popeye can defeat her, is to shimmy up the exhaust pipe to the furnace, wrap his lips around the whole thing, then take a big fatty drag off of it. He inhales the smoke to get stronger!!
Popeye collectors blame that one short for helping Sea Hag dissapear from veiw, as I'm sure over protective 1970's parents saw something even more in that action and demanded her gone.
These cartoons were just 16mmm prints in the old days of TV so there's bound to be copies of the Sea Hag adventures out there..somewhere. If you happen to see hag, let me know by emailing me or leaving a comment.

I seem to be on some Popeye kick with this blog. Sorry.

Hey, for breakfast this morning, I ate 3 White Castle burgers and a left over peice of greasy Captain D's fish. How do I keep this girlish figure?

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Time Waster!

This whole Blog thing is a great time waster. I'm lovin' it! I love it so much, I've created several more blogs under different names. Here's a list of some of my new Blogs:
Pimp Castle
Loose Fitting Boxers
Michael Medved is a Leech
BBQin' with Lou Reed
Getting a Grip on Masturbation
Elvis is Not Dead (He Installs Cable)
Popular British Foods (A Summary)
Gary Coleman Lives in My Sock Drawer
Genie Pants Full of Rainbows
Hanging On To Loose Skin-Kharma Sutra For the Elderly

After doing all these, hopefully I'll have enough time in the day to take a bath.

Grublet in the HoOWSe!!

This odd person, creeping in the door, also has a blog... http://morphicmemory.blogspot.com/

Check it out in my links.

Eda Grublet shares my bathroom with me. She inhales my belches at every opportune moment. I once saw her shoot the finger at herself.

Read her blog at your own risk.

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Night of the Hunter

A favorite quote:
"Bush is a natural-born loser with a filthy-rich daddy who pimped his son out to rich oil-mongers. He hates music, football and sex, in no particular order, and he is no fun at all."

-Hunter S. Thompson

Monday, May 02, 2005

Bela Lugosi Meets a Brooklyn Gorilla

Ever see this picture? "Bela Lugosi Meets a Brooklyn Gorilla" 1952. I saw it years ago and only recently broke down (and I do mean broke down) to buy a copy on DVD.
It was from one of those $1 DVD hoppers in Walmart. People come scrounging in these things like pigs to a trough, looking for some entertainment and only find the same public domain crap from the days of $1 VHS tapes. These were the pictures that every nickel and dime TV station had a 16mm print of in the 80s.
Anyway, the movie is a mad scientist/jungle pic with a couple of Martin and Lewis impersonators...Duke Mitchell and Sam Petrillo.

Petrillo's performance is so plagiarist and exacting of a young Jerry Lewis, you wonder how someone ok'd this movie.
Apparently Lewis wasn't a fan of Petrillo's performance and tried to ruin both of the comedian's careers.
Ramona, the monkey, is one of the funniest things in the picture. There's also a guy fartin' around in an ape suit. (..the real reason I bought the DVD..) I'm a connoisseur of monkey suits and this one reminded me a 3 Stooges ape suit....the one from around the Shemp era. Steve Calvert (uncredited) wore the suit and also wore it in the (supposedly) related prequal "Bride of the Gorilla". Ray "Crash" Corrigan also wore a suit similar to the Calvert design in movies like, "Captive Wild Women", "Mark of the Gorilla", and "Nabonga".

You gotta see this picture at least once and be dumbstruck by Petrillo's dead on performance. The pacing and gag work is dodgey as it's directed by William "one shot" Beaudine. Named as such because of his style of shooting one take and moving on. (Beaudine also directed some faves like, "Charlie Chan and the Feathered Serpent", "Ghost Chasers", "Ghosts on the Loose", and "Phantom Killer".)
For a buck, it was worth it to watch Bela stoically fend off Petrillo scene after scene. I get the idea, Bela probably didn't like him off set either.
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