Dumb Is, as Dumb Does
I took my mom and dad, Penny and my sister to dinner tonight in honor of my dad's 83rd birthday. The guy looks about 50...(I inherited those genes, by the way!)
Usually any kind of get together with mom is pretty surreal, and this was no exception.
Early in the evening, for no reason, mom stated that dad was born in 1899...? "No....1922", dad said "My gran'father was born in 1899, woman!".
After dinner at "On the Border"...dad's pick...dad was talking about the Riley reunion that neither I nor my sister Jeanette was told about.
Dad: "...uh..oh..yea..there was the two cousins that I hadn't seen in a long time...Darcy and ..."
Mom interjects: "They both were.." and she puts her hands over her ears.
Dad: "..huh?" looking at her.
Mom chews her tacos and places her gloved hands over her ears again.
Dad: .."Oh yea..they were both deaf and dumb.."
Mom: Yelling, "No they weren't...they went to college!"
At that point Penny stifled a laugh, almost blowing beans out her nose.
When leaving, dad had mom by the arm. As they casually walked along the sidewalk, mom spotted a packet of ketchup on the ground and tried to divert dad away from it. Screaming at the top of her lungs, as if it's a land mine..."Don't step on that ketchup!"..she inadvertently shoved him straight for the packet and he stumbled towards a flower bed filled with CACTUS! Both Penny and I grabbed him before he hit the ground.
Next year dad will be born in 1779, and mom will swear that "booger bears" are on the menu.
Usually any kind of get together with mom is pretty surreal, and this was no exception.
Early in the evening, for no reason, mom stated that dad was born in 1899...? "No....1922", dad said "My gran'father was born in 1899, woman!".
After dinner at "On the Border"...dad's pick...dad was talking about the Riley reunion that neither I nor my sister Jeanette was told about.
Dad: "...uh..oh..yea..there was the two cousins that I hadn't seen in a long time...Darcy and ..."
Mom interjects: "They both were.." and she puts her hands over her ears.
Dad: "..huh?" looking at her.
Mom chews her tacos and places her gloved hands over her ears again.
Dad: .."Oh yea..they were both deaf and dumb.."
Mom: Yelling, "No they weren't...they went to college!"
At that point Penny stifled a laugh, almost blowing beans out her nose.
When leaving, dad had mom by the arm. As they casually walked along the sidewalk, mom spotted a packet of ketchup on the ground and tried to divert dad away from it. Screaming at the top of her lungs, as if it's a land mine..."Don't step on that ketchup!"..she inadvertently shoved him straight for the packet and he stumbled towards a flower bed filled with CACTUS! Both Penny and I grabbed him before he hit the ground.
Next year dad will be born in 1779, and mom will swear that "booger bears" are on the menu.
posted by Riley at 7:49 PM
1 Comments:
Joe, I can SEE it. I can visualize your mom doin' that. At least if your Dad had gotten hurt, she'd help supervise the paramedics, so that they wouldn't "patch and mess up".
You said gloved right?
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