Friday, November 18, 2005


A while back at Penny's birthday party, we all sat around and watched her open presents. It was just about 5 or 6 of us. My buddy Bob was sittin' there too, a laughin' and slappin' his knee! Oh, everybody was having a good time until Bob got so worked up at one point, he broke my CHROME STEEL rolling desk chair! He almost broke it in two! He must have super dense booty muscles or something.
I've asked him to pay me for the chair at the party and he blew me off...he threw a little piece of cake at me. Later I mentioned it again, in an e-mail:
" the way...I'm still waiting for a reimbursement, for-real-doh!
His response:
"And as far you being imbursed and all that, I hear where you're coming from but my lash got a little whipped on your dangerous ass chair. So I may be looking for a little bursement myself, knowdamsayin? Times is tough yo, times is tough."
So's I write:
"Now keep in mind, that was MY all time favorite chair...I was born in that chair...grew up in that chair and was buried in that it's pretty important to me. My 'bursement better be in the mail."
His resonse:
"I'm getting all that. I mean I hear you. But what about my ass? That was my favorite all time ass. Stuff's been born out of that ass...thing's are buried in that ass....and now? Dude, and now that ass has a crack in it. As long as I have an ass, you've got a place to eat. That has to be worth something."

So I let it go. Y' that way. Until this morning, I got this in the mail...

...a check for One Dollar (and "absolutely" no cents). That's it. Made out to Joe "I Love Chairs More than Women" Riley. His note on the check says: "It was sort of rickety when I sat in it."
That's all he's taking resonsibility for..a dollar.
OK...I'm showing everybody the picture I took of you Bob, right after you disintergrated my chair.

Isn't it ironic, that at that exact're thinking of a broke chair...AND, you're wearing a shirt that proudly states your self imposed identity! You can't just walk away..limp away...from this. I demand reinbursment...and more than a dollar.

"We shall see, what we shall see."
-Moe Howard


Blogger Chris Jart said...

Oh man.... I almost lost it when I saw the last picture.

12:41 PM  
Blogger Monkeyman said...

lol, yeah, that last pic did it for me too, good job, Joe.

7:41 AM  

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